Santa Claus is Coming...

Its Christmas time, so here we go boys and girls of all ages -

SCROOGE

Humbug - to all those freaking romantic jewlry adverts on the Television, the Radio, and the Paper. Boo. You all should rot in hell for the depression you cause in this country, to millions of single men that are reminded just how broke they are, making them believe that you can simply 'buy' love. And BOO to all those of you who believe in that garbage. Humba-humba-HUMBUG!

DeBeers and all related diamond companies are going to have a nice little letter sent to them from Santa, saying that if they don't get their stuff together, he is going to turn all their diamond mines to CARBON mines... (well yeah they are the same basic Element but, come on, bear with me people). Give them all 'Coal' for christmas, and send them crying all the way back to South America....

And man oh man, when I started seeing Christmas right after Halloween, let me tell you! I nearly went out, and streaked naked through starbucks wearing nothing but a sock! (An Abercrombie and Fitch sock, no less). I don't know, I think they may have gotten my message - you know - "NO CHRISTMAS BEFORE THANKGIVING!"...however, I think that might have been easily mistaken and me and my sock-sheathed friend would be spending a few hours at the very least in the Montclair Police holding cell. We should call for a constitutional amendment folks! AWAY WITH CHRISTMAS BEFORE THANKSGIVING DAY! HUMMMMMMBUG!

Santa, all I want for Christmas is for Christmas to be special, not some commerical holiday bent on making people more depressed...a holiday of hope not money and greed. Please Santa, for me...?


....thats right, Cry Timmy...Cry....